And My Heart As Well

The prayer without hope
that left my chapped lips
and fell to the earth
so seemingly unheard
is the lesson given
to me,
to learn.
The tears I cried
over all the dead
and those in prison
and the missing
and the abused
and the neglected
and the terrified-
the weak who cannot stand
on their own-
they fell to the earth
as well
but I did not know
that seeds had been sown.
In all the dying done among the living
there was a secret
unknown to me-
it was hope.
I was so afraid and so dismayed
that blows could not be felt
I beat myself but felt no pain
all was numb and felt so gone.

But secrets have a way
of getting out of doors
where even I can see
and hear
and touch
and feel.
Never was the light so bright
as in the darkness felt
laying down the burden low
what yoke could ease this pain?
Heavy in the heart I roamed
all around the world
and into darkest corners crawled
seeking shelter
or hope.
And every time I neared the end
of myself
I caught a glimpse
of God.
All of the cups
of stale
coffee
and selfish introspection
and study
left me adrift
without my anchor
My soul was lost at sea
in the open waters
with no sail
and no chart
the tiller smashed and lost
long ago in some great storm.
I looked to the east and the north
and the south
and the west-
but all was the same
in every direction
endless ocean full of tears
moody and stormy as any beautiful woman.
Now calm,
and soon
the rage.
I was lost
I am lost
but will
I
be
lost?
It is a great thing
to see the Lord in pain.
Let all the earth be silent
and my heart as well.

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8 thoughts on “And My Heart As Well

  1. I’m wondering if, in the 4th to last line, the word “great” is used for “awesome” or “moving, impacting”–rather than great–as “happy or good”. If I’m correct, then I like the whole thing! Have a blessed day.

  2. Somehow I imagine that your heart nor the earth fell silent. I do not know you or what has happened in your life, but your writing it leaves me curious just what prompted this one. I will not prod though. best wishes.

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