Some nights are just longer than others
and if I were to be honest
I would tell you
(or at least tell myself)
that I didn’t like the waiting–
that I didn’t like the temptation and the testing,
that I was
I have dreams you know
the ones I don’t like to think about
(which almost guarantees they won’t come to pass)
because I have a hard time with happy endings
(at least for myself)
but if I were to be honest…
I still have dreams.
But I am afraid to make them prayers
Do you believe in God?
But I have some serious trust issues
even with Him.
I am afraid of joy.
I don’t trust it.
How could it possibly be?