Under

I crawled down under in the night
To escape the fear of day
And made my home within a hell
And thought I might just have to stay.

I stayed down under far too long
Until I heard your voice above
And peered outside to see your face
But I am so afraid of love.

Let the sun which sees me now
Have me in the worst of times
So that I may see the best
And burn and burn and burn.

Waiting For You

I wonder how often someone has waited
For me to let them in
Or open up
Or give them an answer
Or pay them attention
Or take their hand
Or show them kindness…

I wonder this now
because I wait for you
I hold no expectation
But must I not dare to hope
And how often we think it is a small thing
And does not matter
And so we do not answer
And so now
As I wait
May I remember to answer those who perhaps
Just maybe
Are waiting for me.

Yesterday’s Poem

I could not write yesterday
Because I was too worn
I dread my time with you
Almost as much as I long for it.

You are terrifying in your beauty
And I’m sure you do not have the slightest idea
You are terrifying in your kindness
And I’m sure you do not understand.

I am sorry in so many ways
So many ways I never thought I really would be
I would have lived life differently
If I had been haunted by you at an earlier age.

But we people rarely see the future
And we plan accordingly
Be well angel– and I will not stop to take you off this pedestal
Maybe one day you will understand…

And perhaps one day I will as well.

I Would Speak to Thee

It is so damned hard
To keep it all in
and in some ways
letting it out a little at a time
seems even harder.

God have mercy
And let me not hide my feelings
for no reason at all
There is a time for everything
But let me not withhold the expression of joy and sorrow
From those to whom it is due.

Holy Father
Now I thank you
You who pick up all the pieces of my shattered heart
one
by
one.