Here in This Place

I hate this place
There is no wind
Unless it’s blasting you with sand
There is no heat
Unless it is burning your skin
There is no peace
Unless you came with it
And I did not
And I am so exhausted
By my own sins
And those done to me
That I feel comatose.

I cannot cry out to you in this state
It feels like I will die here
Quietly
Alone.

I remember the day she kissed me
But I threw that away
And my hope went with it.

Thank you for the food in my belly
I know that it might not always come
Thank you for the shade from the sun
I know that I may yet be cast out further still
Thank you for the work
Forgive my complaints
I have forgotten how to pray
Christ have mercy.

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