Sometimes Is Just as Baffling

I am afraid to trust God
He’s a killer, after all
And if He wrongs you there is no one to appeal to
And he can move mountains
Sometimes on top of you
A thousand wars He did not stop
And some He started Himself
And if you don’t like it?
Well what could you possibly do.

And then He also saves people
And you wonder how He picks
And sometimes in the desert
With your baby over there in the bush
crying and dying
And no more water
Sometimes He picks you.


32 thoughts on “Sometimes Is Just as Baffling

  1. Did he pick to save Gwendolyn when she existed in the mouth of another dog? Being torn to pieces? Do I have someone to thank for her life? Or was her life sustained by rational opening of the dog’s jaw by kicking his abdomen, causing release?

    1. Your implication that God is irrational is not amusing. Also if someone uses other means we still say “they” did a thing. And I promise I have no secret knowledge about whether God was directly involved in Gwendolyn’s attack or saving.

        1. I am glad we are on the same page. 😉 Also I would never really consider walking on eggshells to really be a sign of love, respect, or help– no matter what the topic. I trust you already know that about me and will continue to always say what is on your mind and heart– even if it does aggravate or offend me. Have a lovely day and kiss Gwendolyn for me.

        1. The first two things are the things that generally affect people’s lives the most– even if they “don’t have them.” So that makes sense (insert sarcastic chuckling and awkward wink here). The third one just seems like a way to avoid yelling… which is not really a priority for me in life.

  2. True, He is a warrior who judges justly, but He is also a Father…a loving Father. One who protects His children from the mouths of lions and one who protects and guides His children as a shepherd. It’s fair and right to fear Him, but it is also fair and right to praise and adore him. Leaning one way over the other is the error. We must seek the balance that can only be found when we focus on our Savior~Jesus.

    1. Interesting, there are plenty of people who believe themselves to be His children that do not feel protected. Perhaps one day when they have perspective, hindsight, and a better idea of the big picture– perhaps then they will feel differently. It is difficult when your head and your heart are at odds.

      1. Ahh, yes, the heart and the head dilemma…we must remember that Truth is an entity outside of our heart/feelings. If we take a broader perspective, outside our hearts, we can see it, but even if we cannot see it clearly, we must have faith that it is separate from what we feel. It’s not an easy task, and one that I struggle with daily, but one that I must be willing to die to daily as well. Isn’t that what He has called His children to do?

        1. I really could not speak to that at this time. I do know that God more than encourages wrestling with Him and that many of the psalms say things my people are uncomfortable saying in front of each other if they will even say them at all.

  3. Indeed, He encourages lamentations, and He is NOT afraid of the hard questions-that is when He keenly reveals Himself to me-when I am most honest with Him. But then, I must also be willing to accept His correction and change my attitude/feelings. If He is greater than I am (and I believe He is) than I must always submit to His authority and what He clearly calls Truth. When I do that, then I am clear to see the broader purpose for my life. And, I must always remember that my legacy will out-live my life. Ruth is a prime example of this in scripture. She was a Moabite, a people that God had cursed. BUT, He saw her heart, and her legacy is one written about. She is a great example of His redemption in the OT. And then, we do have David…the beautiful Psalmist…:)
    Sorry, I am overly passionate about this…please don’t take it as preaching…I have just “been there”.

                  1. Sorry, I wasn’t trying to write a riddle.
                    First we are born with a conscience, but after we are born again, we receive Someone who helps us to discern the truth with greater skill. I meant, we should be able to discern the truth with the tools we are given. A pencil can help, but we need to use it with care…

  4. This poem is beautiful. I have been recently dwelling and writing (some) on suffering and the rage people (myself included) feel when it feels like God isn’t listening. I always find it so spectacular that when I am searching for answers, I am led to wonderful and different insights (yours being one) that lead me to more questions. I am not a very profound thinker or writer but oh how I love reading beautiful words and all the questions that accompany them. Thank you. I will be diving deeper into your words.

    1. Thank you for saying so. I feel strange- mostly due to the religious culture I was raised in- strange when I have certain feelings and thoughts about life or towards God or his Word. I feel strange and then I hear jews arguing… and then I read the psalms and then I read about various people from the Bible arguing and wrestling with God… and I wonder who I have been kidding all these years. It’s not as if God is made of glass.

      I am glad to have you here. There are plenty of poems to read in the archives if you get the urge. Cheers.

      1. I was raised in a crazy, eclectic religious environment and though I have finally settled down to one religion I do not feel bad about raging at God. I don’t know if this is wrong or right but I know that rage is passionate and shows that you at least care. Better to be angry than numb. I don’t think God is made of glass either. And I’m guessing He’d rather have us yell than ignore:) You have great talent! Love reading your journey!

        1. Even if it turns out to be wrong or take us “too far” I think lying to ourselves and God and pretending we are something we are not is worse.

          I hope my journey doesn’t drag you down too much. Glad to have you here and reading. Cheers.

  5. I have come to an age that I have the benefit of extreme “hindsight” and it means nothing…looking into an empty cupboard for a loaf of bread ( the best bread is freshly baked). I’ve walked numb across some of the battle fields of those thousand wars . I felt the blows, covered scars with endless dressings of self-loathing. Hiding from everyone at home, looking into that empty cupboard that I realized that God needed me, to do something, something that no one else in the world (at any time) could do for him and everything I saw, felt or did was preparing for that something.
    I have not a clue what that is, if I’ve done it or if I’m doing it.
    My task is to just keep doing and pray that I don’t sleep thru what ever.

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