But I want to give in
And give up
Better men than me could not change
And who am I?
I want to fall back into darkness
As it gently tears me to peaces from the inside out
In what world could I possibly ever hope to triumph?
In what world could I ever imagine changing?
Who am I that I should think I could be better?
That I could change?
I am nothing.
I am no one.
But then there was the incarnation.
Did not God become a man?
Blood and scales and screaming pain
I beg you to change what I cannot change-
Forgive me and show me flying horses.
Restore me and let me be held.
Let that tiny seed grow.
But really we want to connect
And I want to connect
Light falls and rises up
Flowers bloom and poets die
Seasons change with every cup
That we drink until we fly.
And it is hard to open
And so hard to trust
But the insides will burst
And the heart rend
And all to peaces fall.
Could we talk?
Would you talk with me?
And when we feel alone we do things
And then live with what that brings
And then we dream of other nights
And days that never came.
But though another is not the answer
It is not against the answer either
And in another we see real love
And then can oft believe.
But I love cats
And sometimes people
But loving people like cats
Requires actual love
And sometimes that is harder than others.
You can get a lot done in a day
When you keep your nose clean
But it is not always so gratifying
At least not instantaneously.
But what if the leaves turn brown?
They do that every year.
But what if the darkness comes?
The sun sets every day.
What if my loved ones die?
None of us make it out alive.
How will I know the way?
“Follow your feet…”
I did not think
That in this heat
I could safely come so low
And slow the beating of my heart
From the heights that it had raced.
Would that I had known this then
I might have given far less ground
But learning is a lengthy thing
With the broken pieces found.