A Burning In My Bones

I suffer under the burden of my own introspection
The weight of which is like unto lead
Or perhaps in Egypt I carry bricks
With every thought I have.
I have been hard on myself when I should have been soft
And soft when I should have been hard.
And the feeling of failure that snatches my joy
Is another brick thrown on my back.
“Have mercy on me!”
I cry in the evening
“Sustain me…”
I whisper each morn.
There has been a cleaning,
a beating,
a molding,
a forming,
it is a fire that burns me
my mistakes burn like fire
each success is a flame.
And everywhere I am consumed.

“The weight of which,”
I collapse.
Do not delay
Long expected king.

I have been to market and to church
and in the coffee house I have discussed
all of knowledge that I knew
and then I took a sip.

There is a burning.

At the concert hall I sat down
And listened to the works of man
and all I heard was God’s own voice
in every perfect note.

There is a fire.

If I sing in our church choir
will I feel the hand of God?
Or am I filled with fool’s desire
to trip and fall again.

Let me be so consumed.


I Love To Hear You Speak

I know I will dream of you
I do not know where it will take me
I know that deep hot desires
once aroused
take on a life
a life of their own.
I know I will think of you
All of you
Every last drop of sweat
and every sweet scent
And some not so sweet
I know I will remember you
Remember that night
And long for it again
For better or for worse
The lost light awakened
And though it found itself in battle
It remembered it was alive.
I will cling to the light
When I should
And when I shouldn’t
I love to not feel dead.
I love to dream of love.
I love the pull of your words.
Speak to me again in the night
Set my heart on fire
Make me dream of hope
With all your hot desire.
I do not know to say the things
The things that you might wish to hear
But I know when your words come home
They wake me from my slumber dear.