Friends

And Then…

But really,
if we are honest,
We want to avoid the confrontation
(not all of us mind you).
But all of us
Want to avoid
some confrontation.

We all want to be loved-
But how hard is it?
We all want to belong,
But we don’t always look around us.

You see,
we all want to connect with someone-
no,
we need to connect with someone.
And who is trying?
Desperately trying
to connect with us,
right now?

Loving is hard, isn’t it?
And I am not talking about romance
The way is hard
and who can tread it,
without God?

It seems
that it is hard to go without people
and that it can be hard to love people without God
and it can be hard to approach God…
and then there is this gospel.

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Reaching Out

But really we want to connect
And I want to connect
With someone
and something.

Light falls and rises up
Flowers bloom and poets die
Seasons change with every cup
That we drink until we fly.

And it is hard to open
And so hard to trust
But the insides will burst
And the heart rend
And all to peaces fall.

Could we talk?

Would you talk with me?

And when we feel alone we do things
And then live with what that brings
And then we dream of other nights
And days that never came.

But though another is not the answer
It is not against the answer either
And in another we see real love
And then can oft believe.

Because It’s Hard

In a world filled with pain
I’ve had my share
and yet
the people who’ve had much more
always seem to find me
I’m not sure why
or how
but they always come to me
and I don’t mind no more.

Do you know how hard it is to bear another’s burden?
Of course you do
Do you ever feel another’s pain?
I hope so.

When the light goes out
and the room goes dark
and you look outside
only to find
the sun has died
or been eclipsed
(but you can’t tell which)
When the air is sucked
strait from your heaving lungs
and your sweat stings your eyes
and the room begins to spin–

then perhaps it is time
to be the friend
that you always wished you had,
to be that friend
to someone else.

Ricky

It was a beautiful fall day
And a rain soaked night
With leaves covering the street
The night they hit that tree.

No one was drunk
No one was high
Kids just drive too fast
over wet leaves.

I used to play with Ricky
He was kind of a tool
He came off as arrogant and snobby
Even in the fifth grade.

But he could run
And I know he lit up his parents eyes
And I’m sure they expected a lot
And I’m sure he felt the pressure.

But a lot of us did
And we were just kids
So we played baseball and softball and wiffle ball–
I don’t think we cared as long as we could get on the diamond.

We played kickball too
Which just proves my point
We just wanted to play
On that diamond, which happened to be across the street from his house.

I buried a time capsule near that diamond once
I wonder if it is still there,
I buried it years before Ricky died
I don’t even remember exactly where.

I hate that his parents don’t get to see him
They don’t get to fight
They don’t get to make up
No one gets to grow with each other.

I remember the diamond
And how we used to play
And I wish that he were here with us
and not just in spirit.

Friends and Lovers and the Senses

Show me things that bounce
Or things that flash in light
I’m really just a simple man
But not just over sight.

Read me slow a story
Whisper in my ear
I’m really just a simple man
I hope I’ve made that clear.

Wash your hair with coconut
Spray on your perfume
I’m really just a simple man
No matter what the room.

Fry me up some bacon
And brew the coffee strong
I’m really just a simple man
I hope it won’t be long.

Rub my shoulders and my neck
And you can have my wallet too
I’m really just a simple man
It’s really not that hard to do.

Witness

A blind man
a man from Nigeria
Stayed in my house when i was a child
Just for a few months.

He always asked me to pray
He was a pastor
He may have been
the happiest man
I ever met.

He taught me to sing a song
Perhaps you know it…?
It goes like this:

“I found a new life.
I found a new life.
If anyone asks me,
what’s a matter with you my friend?
I’ll say I’m saved,
sanctified,
Holy-Ghost-filled,
Water baptized,
Jesus is mine,
Heavenly bound,
I found a new life.”

We would sing this song
on repeat
clapping-
sometimes off beat,
very,
very,
Loudly.

He would laugh when it was over
He would clasp my hand
and hug me like a bear
it made me
uncomfortable
at first.

Now I think back
and remember
my blind nigerian friend
and his joy.

Best witness ever.

Harsh Words Cut Deep Sometimes

Fracture lines run everywhere
But they can’t see them on my face
Maybe if they looked inside
But I am safe if I just stare
Stare somewhere near every floor.
I feel a mounting stress tonight…
And cannot take so many blows
It gets to me the things they say
I feel so bad inside.
Even though I want so bad
For someone just to look inside
I keep them out at every turn
Because I am afraid.
Even though the demons ride
I fear to turn again.
My stomache ties itself in knots
And I feel a lump inside my chest
I wish that all the tears would stop
But really,
I just hate to cry alone.
But who would hold me as I weep?
And who would let my racking sobs
press against their waiting chest?
Who would I risk fear and pain
to let them in
to help me cope…?

I feel the need for kindness
I feel it hard right now
Would someone please just be so soft
But strong enough to stay?
I have gone through so very much
And simple words as these cannot
begin to tell you of my life.
Would that I could be so held
And someone in the flesh might deign
To stay with me while I travel
And I with them till death.

We Got Here…

If I take the time to write

Would it make you feel ok?

If I leave the battle clear

Would it ease your heart today?

 

I just want for you the best

Better than I’ll ever see

If you’re ok then I can rest

And find a way that I can be.

 

But fear is such a power thing

And hurt is so redundant now

When you feel you’re too broke to sing

And don’t know that you might now how.