To Call You Father

My head aches and splits
The heart would fin’lly speak
But how do I pray, “Father”…?

To see as Lord in guts and grime
And like some stoic yield my fate
This my head can claim in tears.

But heart cries deep a simple truth
And wars with head who cannot see
And blinding fear thrusts daggers both.

You made the world and that takes might
You came down low and that takes heart
To see these both takes quite a faith.

My heart in pain and with much fear
Speaks a language far from me
Unreconciled I stagger, fall.

I do not know the words to loose
Whispered from the splintered earth
Yet you would teach me, ” Father.”

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On a Friday

I have to say
I love my God
Terrifying though He may be

While I break faith
He does not

While I grow weak
He is strong

While I am scared
He defends the fatherless

And always with the listening
He always wants to hear

“Come to me,” He says
Again and again.

Fruit Trees and Dreaming

I once was lost in my own world
But then a hand reached down and grabbed
And now I’m waking to the real
And yes, it’s even worse.

I tried to hide from all the pain
And it did not achieve my goal
And now I’m waking to the real
And nothing feels quite whole.

I read the bible every day
And in the book I see them shout
And they, awake, unto the real
Make their feelings known.

But Abraham seems far away
And Lot so flawed that I can’t help
Thinking he would not care for me
My problems seem so small.

Small problems are what took my heart
And made it numb as it can be
And now I’m waking to the real
And it’s too bright to see.

Evil waits on every page
And God is not afraid
Waking up now to the real
I see He’s set the stage.

So God, I was wondering…

What is a life worth?
I mean, is there a price?
A lot of people have died after all.

What was Doug worth?
What would make his death OK?
What would justify it?
What would make anyone think that the end was worth the middle?

I have to ask,
Is freedom worth it?

There is a light in a person’s eyes
There is a light
It can go out.

Daughter of Another god

Words can touch
Where hands can’t go
Do you ever dream of Jesus?

A light falls swift
and warms a heart
but do you think He’s dead?

Two minds can be
resting on
the very same page as one another.

Yet without God
to bind two souls
What is there to love but skydiving with no chute?

Some things feel great
that tear the soul
and only later do we feel the crash.

I want to connect
Just as you
But I know that love requires something.

I am not
without my God
and this is who I am.

Funny quips and jokes aside
There must needs be a like mind in this
if love were ever to blossom.

And words with power leave their mark
Let us be so honest now
With ourselves about ourselves.

Heaven and Earth

Up above with lighted clouds
That float with angels in golden skies
We place our dreams that were too loud
And find a box to hide our whys.

Daring darlings that we are
Tempted children from holy God
We separate the earth and sky
And change our praises and our laud.

We leave the best things said above
While we search and cry below
And the God who made us rolls his eyes
To see the way we choose to go.

Some of us do not believe
That spirits are a very thing
And others choose to wait their life
For treasures found on angel’s wing.

Wrestling back and forth we break
And often lose such precious things
But looking now at church’s tower
We hope and wait, the bell to ring.

Kissing and Wanting

Do you think I want to be alone?
Or do you think I don’t believe because of you?
Do you think I seek the perfection in another that does not exist in myself?
I have my desires
And I even had once hopes and dreams
And maybe you could help me see
That there is reason for me to rise
Rise out of this dirt
But I do not need or want
For you to be some sacred god
And if the real one uses you
Then would you not be happy yet?
I need all the kisses kept
For the day when you would find
Peace on earth and some sweet faith
And then I’ll kiss you back.