The presents are gone
But we didn’t speak of Jesus
The Word became flesh
And I think we forgot.
The number of dead
That weigh on my soul
None of them have come
None of them died and rose.
But heavy my heart
With grief and pain
Forgive me my blindness
That keeps me from joy.
“Good tidings,” they said
Listen my heart
Despite the decades of pain
Please be still and believe.
Just because the world is wrong
And all the pieces everywhere
Doesn’t mean that joy ain’t real
And that this moment is a fake.
Just because you feel Ok
Doesn’t mean it is a lie
Or that your problems disappeared
Or that you have betrayed the dead.
And though it hurts with every breath
It doesn’t mean it always will
And though your tears could fill the sea
You still can smile if it feels right.
But what could I write?
From here in the deadest place
Feelings tear apart.
It’s nine am and I am almost awake
No alarm
Just starting my coffee
Been up for hours.
What is going on?
I tried to sleep in
I laid there alone
The fire still crack’ling
The dog still asleep.
But change can be abrupt
Seemingly without flow
Little poetry to it
All story.
I had a rhythm
I had seasons
They have been disrupted.
They were not fun
They were not good
They were not healthy
But they were a rhythm
And now they are cracking.
And there is no poetry to it
It is ugly and abrupt
And so I am almost awake
At nine in the morning.
This is a change
A Soul's Walk 