Craving Safety, Or the Danger of Growth

Sometimes things are stopped
And you feel that the massive build-up of water behind the dam
Will crush you
But you also worry
That if the dam breaks,
Everything will be ruined.

We fear a loss of control
One we do not really have to begin with
And we long for love
And peace
and purpose
and even happiness,
if possible.

Take a brick out of your pack
and give it away
I would tell you to give it to God
But you would rightly point out
That I often do not do this so well myself
And of course
Some of you
Think Him a fiction anyways.

Yet there are things
Things stopping the right flow of us
And we need healing
And maybe that means
We need
to fall apart
and let it all out,

if only we felt safe to do so.

Reaching Out

But really we want to connect
And I want to connect
With someone
and something.

Light falls and rises up
Flowers bloom and poets die
Seasons change with every cup
That we drink until we fly.

And it is hard to open
And so hard to trust
But the insides will burst
And the heart rend
And all to peaces fall.

Could we talk?

Would you talk with me?

And when we feel alone we do things
And then live with what that brings
And then we dream of other nights
And days that never came.

But though another is not the answer
It is not against the answer either
And in another we see real love
And then can oft believe.

Poetry in Depression

It’s nine am and I am almost awake
No alarm
Just starting my coffee
Been up for hours.

What is going on?

I tried to sleep in
I laid there alone
The fire still crack’ling
The dog still asleep.

But change can be abrupt
Seemingly without flow
Little poetry to it
All story.

I had a rhythm
I had seasons
They have been disrupted.

They were not fun
They were not good
They were not healthy
But they were a rhythm
And now they are cracking.

And there is no poetry to it
It is ugly and abrupt
And so I am almost awake
At nine in the morning.

This is a change