Sometimes people make you feel like an afterthought
And it stings a little
And you want to return the favour.
But love is different
And I was first loved
And people have their own story- especially the people hurting your feelings.
It’s funny,
Having feelings
They are so honest and yet so mysterious.
Sometimes we don’t realize
Just how much the things we don’t say
can really hurt
hurt the people we do not want to hurt.
Sometimes we know and don’t care
Sometimes we are so blinded by our own hurts and fears
That we don’t understand much at all.
But regardless I hope to find myself
Loving as I should love
Not to be a doormat
But to do as I would want done.
But really,
if we are honest,
We want to avoid the confrontation
(not all of us mind you).
But all of us
Want to avoid
some confrontation.
We all want to be loved-
But how hard is it?
We all want to belong,
But we don’t always look around us.
You see,
we all want to connect with someone-
no,
we need to connect with someone.
And who is trying?
Desperately trying
to connect with us,
right now?
Loving is hard, isn’t it?
And I am not talking about romance
The way is hard
and who can tread it,
without God?
It seems
that it is hard to go without people
and that it can be hard to love people without God
and it can be hard to approach God…
and then there is this gospel.
I hope I find you
And realize that you are you
Amidst all this pain.
Tired in the fullest sense
I run until I can’t no more
And mama told me the world would kick
I should a’ listened better.
I can’t control what I believe
and so I cannot walk away
may I listen to my mama
before she leaves me here.
The pain is making things so hard
and I just want to lay it down
but in the snow the reaper waits
and I can’t just give up.
The night was long
And I was dim
And distractions played their happy part.
Now I feel as if I’ve washed
— washed up on the shore.
Could this be,
this long hard night,
could this be the way?
You think that what you want
will be a certain way
but ways are not that easy
and traveling draws blood
and it is hard to remember where you are going
after all the blows.
Stillness sought on foreign shores
And longed for in such harrowed nights
Finds its way inside your soul
Just when you would die.
The bones can no longer groan
The weariness fills up full to the last drop
Waiting is sleeping is dying is waiting to be reborn…
So lies the hope in wait
No fear, only faith
Tick tock tick tock till the day will come
So lies the hope in wait.
A Soul's Walk 