Timing

Sometimes
I get caught
intellectually
between a rock
and a hard place
and I feel like
I am the only one
and that this never happens
to my enemies.

And I forget that
God hears
and I feel the world continue to spin
When I just want it to
stop.

And I just want to figure it out
but the world does not stop for me
or anyone else
and if it is happening to me
It has happened before
to others.

And I want it to stop
and I don’t want to feel
but I am swept along
carried by waves I could never hope to fight
and I am tired.

I don’t want to have small faith
but I do
and the road to big faith
is very hard.

Everyone knows this
in their head
(or at least they should)
but to know a thing in the heart as well
that is another story
and though I love stories
the best ones are awful to live through.

If it does not seem hopeless,
What is your rescue?
If it is not darker than the darkest night,
Then what will the dawn mean to you?

My bones, my bones,
my weary weary bones
let there be a voice
let there be a hand
let there be a hope
in this darkest of nights.

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Some Days With Our Brothers and Sisters

Hope is a precious thing
And I don’t know where it goes
When your child dies.

Every day someone dies.

Everyone is someone’s child.

And sometimes you outlive your children.

Where does gentle hope reside
When grief in force kicks down your door?
And where do fragile spirits hide
With all this blood upon the floor?

Teach me oh God of Wrath
Where the rain upon the earth will fall
And where the soul that grieves may go
When every hope has fled.

Fractured View

You asked why you were forsaken
As if you did not know
Can you not know?
How am I to understand your not knowing?
Am I to be comforted if you are not wholly other?
If you became as us
How then can you triumph?
The demons are strong
In life and in metaphor…

Round and round we dance
And sing and sing and fall
We long for every chance
But we cannot see it all.

In our struggle
Its desire is for us
It lies in wait
How may we rule over it?
I do not understand…