But I want to give in
And give up
Better men than me could not change
And who am I?
I want to fall back into darkness
As it gently tears me to peaces from the inside out
In what world could I possibly ever hope to triumph?
In what world could I ever imagine changing?
Who am I that I should think I could be better?
That I could change?
I am nothing.
I am no one.
But then there was the incarnation.
Did not God become a man?
Blood and scales and screaming pain
I beg you to change what I cannot change-
Forgive me and show me flying horses.
Restore me and let me be held.
Let that tiny seed grow.
Fragile failure left to die
with short-lived victories for bread
and hope a distant hazy sight
that may not ever come to be.
Here us now and give us rest
and turn our hearts and minds and strength
give us life let us repent
and not be bound again.
A late breakfast is better than sex.
That is probably not true
But it’s better than all the sex I’ve had
But that’s the kind you shouldn’t do.
In a church built with stones of prayer
Where the potluck reigns supreme
A broken-down automobile
Can seem like an eternity.
Repentance is a gift
A thing we mostly don’t quite learn–
or learn the hard way,
in suffering and consequence
and we wonder if we could ever
give that gift to ourselves…
Tell me about repentance Lord–
The shock, the grave, the awesome death
Talk to me about the turning–
The the pain, the path, the happy rest.
Teach me about that better way–
The one with life and hope
Show me how I might not stray–
And gain purchase on the rocky slope.
Let me in that sacred door–
Where holy men have gone before
Make me as thine own dear son–
Righteous as the Holy One.
Give me turning from my pain–
The darkest hour sweetly calls
Raise me up to life again–
With vict’ry over soaring walls.
There are lines that shouldn’t be crossed
And things that shouldn’t be done
And no one really wants to forgive
It’s hard toiling under this sun.
People say so many things
And they are sometimes right
But living out what they have said
Gets harder every night.
I don’t know just how to go
And where I’m supposed to be
But one day with the tears all gone
I know I will be free.