A Glimpse of Hell Now Very Present

We delved in dark to flee the light
And did not trust from up above
and though so close to victory
we jumped right down the hole.

Our screams descended fast as night
And life was gone before we blinked
And landing with a crunch of bones
We felt the pain of sin.

We thought that we could ease our pain
And make it flee just for a while
and so we made it grow again
And now a monster lives with us.

Down in the hole we are not heard
except perhaps by God himself
but he had warned us many times
and we jumped down the same.

Our cries are mute to most above
The heavens a fading memory
And as we think on what we’ve done
Hope seems very small.

That Holds Us Back

“Bless me now for I have sinned,”
A phrase that strikes right to the heart
And in the waning firelight
Takes the whole to find a part.

All the tempting that we do
And we wonder why we fail
But blaming others keeps the lies
That comfort us in our own jail.

It’s funny how we make excuse
For this and that and this here too
Fear is like a firing squad
That tells us just what we should do.

Stubble In The Field

Do I dare to dream again?
dream in sin like the hopeless lot
Cut off soldiers in the field
with empty magazines.
Do I need a helping hand
Or the crack of speeding whips
Do I need something I’d find,
Find outside
Myself?

I get lost within my mind
Fearing everything that’s real
Dying faster locked inside
Lost and lost and lost…

The Spirit came
and I kneeled down
and so I go to pray
take this broken sinner Lord
and scoop the dross away.

Running To Drop

My sin hunts me like a dog
It chases me in the alleys and the countryside
Over hills and through the moors
And you cannot escape your heart.

Lord have mercy.

In the good times
and the bad
always running
always.

Christ have mercy.

In exhaustion I come to pray
I cannot run no more
Massa save and make me whole
Dog eats dog to pieces.

God have mercy.

In the hour that has come
Let me find you there
In the hour that I live
Let me be alive.

Jesus…

Genesis Chapter Three

I am dust.

I think I have always known this
And I don’t really remember not hating snakes.
They seem shifty I think
I’m glad I’ve never heard one talk to me.

I am dust.

It’s funny not knowing things
It’s hard to believe other people when they tell you
To stay away.

I am dust.

Now we all know nakedness
Now we are all ashamed
Now it takes blood
And not even our own.

We are dust.

Being caught is awful
Failing someone you love is awful
Even failing yourself is awful
It’s hard not to point
It’s hard not to blame
It’s hard not to rationalize
And reinterpret…

But we are dust.

One day I will return
And make the ground my home
In ashes out at sea
Or bones laid in the dirt
All my sins will win
And those done unto me
And all my fathers too
And this might be a while.

I will return.

Sin

I used to stand for something

But one too many times I have been knocked down.

 

I used to live for something

But one to many friends have been destroyed.

 

I used to love someone

But one too many times I have screwed it up.

 

All fall down and all destroy

And every gift conceals a ploy

And life is not a thing to praise

Or so it seems to me today.

 

I used to wait for someone

But now I wait for death.

 

I used to dream of someone

But now my dreams despair.

 

I used to want something

But now I do not.

 

The play that played inside my head

Has turned into a blood so red

That ships upon the sea do turn

To steer away and watch it burn.

 

I used to see so much possibility

But now it is quite dark.

 

I used to think that I was strong

But now I know I’m not.

 

I used to think that I was right

I used to think that I was right…

 

I used to