Reaching Out

But really we want to connect
And I want to connect
With someone
and something.

Light falls and rises up
Flowers bloom and poets die
Seasons change with every cup
That we drink until we fly.

And it is hard to open
And so hard to trust
But the insides will burst
And the heart rend
And all to peaces fall.

Could we talk?

Would you talk with me?

And when we feel alone we do things
And then live with what that brings
And then we dream of other nights
And days that never came.

But though another is not the answer
It is not against the answer either
And in another we see real love
And then can oft believe.

Stand and Wait

If you have spoken
You will come through
And you will continue to lead
In various ways
You will always get my attention
And so you have it
Please do not stop teaching me
Please do not stop loving me
I know that you have already said you would never leave nor forsake
And I know your word stands true
But I did not know how hard it would be
To wrestle my own heart
I am afraid
Please do not leave me
Please…

God Save the Gentiles

The humble man argues with God,
But the proud man is a fool.

In all we think we are first,
Yet when we pray we are scared.

The needs of our heart are great,
Yet we speak as though God is small.

The acts of the Lord are many and frightening,
Yet we think our monsters will win.

It is hard to trust His kind intention,
Yet He became a man.

It is hard to believe He has a good plan,
Yet He laid down his life.

Who can stand in His presence?
But we have been told to approach with confidence.

Who could see Him and not die?
Yet we are commanded to draw near.

How do I know He loves me?
I know because He loved me first.

Fears that Stop Me Praying

Some nights are just longer than others
and if I were to be honest
I would tell you
(or at least tell myself)
that I didn’t like the waiting–
that I didn’t like the temptation and the testing,
that I was
in fact
very tired.

I have dreams you know
the ones I don’t like to think about
(which almost guarantees they won’t come to pass)
because I have a hard time with happy endings
(at least for myself)
but if I were to be honest…
I still have dreams.

But I am afraid to make them prayers
Do you believe in God?
I do
But I have some serious trust issues
even with Him.

I am afraid of joy.

I don’t trust it.

How could it possibly be?

For me…?

Trust

But can I trust that you have good
for one who has been oh so bad?
And all the things not understood
so done to me that broke my heart?

Trust is harder than I thought
and I don’t have a magic switch
and all the world feels torn apart
and off they go without a hitch.

Tell me there will be a judgement
and I will have to answer too
tell me that it’s not for nothing
all this pain we travel through.