About the Author

I am a poet. I am an outside dog. I love Jesus. Sometimes I am nervous to tell people because I think if they know me it will reflect poorly on Him. Sometimes it really really does. I have found, however, that the more I hide what is important to me, the more I trip and fall and the harder it becomes to get back up.

Do you listen to U2 and Dave Matthew’s Band… a lot? Yeah, I do to. I do not really care that they went and got themselves popular. I still love them.

We all feel alone sometimes. Sometimes sometimes turns into a long time. Alone can mean more than one thing. Perhaps you are not alone. Perhaps I am not alone. Perhaps we should write or talk or make jokes about it. Perhaps we should say a prayer.

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89 thoughts on “About the Author

  1. Don’t be afraid…none of us our perfect. Just focus on pleasing our Heavenly Father, and confess to Him when u slip up…and to others…and you’ll be just fine. Go ahead and shine like the sun amongst the darkness…don’t be afraid to stumble..we all fall down! But thank God we have the hand of Jesus to reach down and help us back on our feet! God bless u!

    1. It is interesting how little your comment resonates with me emotionally even though I agree with all of it. That will be something for me to think about. I like having things I’m motivated to think about. Thank you very much for the blessing. Be well. Cheers.

      1. I’m sorry soul walker. I was trying to encourage you kindly with compassion. I’m not sorry that I said it..but sorry if it was somehow unkind or taken the wrong way because I did not mean it poorly. I did actually mean it from my heart..not just something to say just to say it. God bless you and hope you are having an awesome holiday!

          1. Every day you are six foot above instead of six foot below, it is an awesome holiday ….

            Sorry you cannot feel that way.

            Try this, let someone tear up your back for you …. then let them kill a couple of your disks for you …. And then have a couple of surgeries to stabilize your pain …. I am there. And I try to enjoy every minute God gives me.

            Your life could always be worse. You choose your reaction to what you experience.

            As for me, I see no reason to leave you with God’s blessings until you are respectful enough to enjoy what you have.

            Ghost.

            1. Amen. I struggle with an ‘unknown’ illness every day..allergic to practically everything, low BP, dizzy, weak, tired..it has sucked the life out of me. Yet i fight it by taking long, fast walks and doing pushups all the time…and various other exercises, and more than that, I fight it with faith…God is not done with me yet! Instead of wallowing in what I do not have, and the fact that nearly everything I smell or put into my mouth makes me swell up, including my throat at times..and no doctor’s seem to be able to find a thing wrong with me (this all happened after I lived in a place that had a ‘hidden’ mold problem..) I have every reason to complain and be angry at God, as the world would..but I love Him more for it becuase it has brought me to my knees and caused me to appreciate all the little things even more. Furthermore, it has caused me to love people more and desire to encourage and help them..and it’s genuine becuase I suffer so much each and every day. I am more sensitive to the sufferings of people..and their struggles. God bless you Ghost. You seem to know what u r talking about! More power to you through Christ! I unsubscribed the other day, but for some reason I got the notification of your comment. I’m glad I did. It’s encouraging to me in my struggles.

              1. Lyn,

                You do not sound like an allergic reaction to hidden mold.

                It has been A LONG TIME, but check with a toxicologist.

                It would seem you have a systemic reaction to biological toxin …

                Without a medical degree – but, with extensive training – that really sounds like toxin overdose ….

                Once in your body, TOXINS DO NOT ACTUALLY LEAVE. It is like radiological poisoning.

                Ghost.

            2. I do enjoy a lot of things I have and am very thankful for many of those things… but I just had another friend commit suicide so I am not perhaps the most chipper as of late. It is very important to be grateful… but I don’t believe for a second that people actually get to choose how they feel about anything. I do not actually think feelings work that way. I am very thankful, however, for your comment. Perspective is often helpful when considering hardship. Thank you very much for taking the time to leave a comment that shows so much thought. I wish you well. Cheers.

              1. Real sorry to hear about your friend (and I notice that you said ‘another’). I see the photo above differently now; as though you are scaling your grief. Working to reach the summit and conquer it. If only it were that simple. I wrote a piece called “In the Sea of Grief” that you might identify with. http://thebloggingdisciple.wordpress.com/2012/08/18/in-the-sea-of-grief/ And a similar one : “In the Sea of Uncertainty”. Grief is a tough thing, especially since it lingers heavy. I can relate.

                God is still on the throne. Keep your chin up. Cheers. ~Beth

                ps: Dr. Caroline Leaf (a Christian), might change your view about getting to choose how you feel. ; ) I heard her give a talk about the physiology of a thought. Pretty wild…

                1. I will look into Dr. Leaf and see if I can find some of her work– but choosing to indirectly influence how you feel is not the same thing as actually choosing how you feel. There is a similar correlation to belief. If you could flip a switch and just decide to believe it wouldn’t be all that significant to believe. This in no way means that you cannot influence your own beliefs… you just have no direct control over them. And feelings (like beliefs) simply are. That is one reason they are amoral. I will see if I can find anything from Dr. Leaf and give it a read/listen. Best wishes.

                  1. Hi there!. I Do get the premise of what you’re saying, really. I found a video very similar to the one I originally saw. Same info, different venue. Of note, her book is also shown/mentioned on the program. I find the whole topic facinating.

                    Regardless of the physiology, we do know, among other examples: “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”. Prov. 23:7

                    “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” 2 Corinth. 10:5

                    * ” Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philip. 4:8

                    Best of wishes to you. Be well. Beth

              2. That is so sad. Every day you choose. When you make a negative choice your default choice, you lose your strength to your weakness(es).

                I preached my Great-Uncle’s funeral, 3 weeks after I preached my father’s funeral. That was grief.

                One of my cousin’s came up to me afterward, quite a bit afterward, and thanked me as tears worked their way down his cheeks. “You helped me work through my grief.”

                Rather than focusing upon all the negatives around you, you need to grieve your losses, confess your sins, and seek God’s forgiveness …..

                And I would suggest a godly accountability partner.

                regards.

                1. You know I just had another friend commit suicide (as in ANOTHER one). People do make choices every day. I am not really sure what you mean about negative choices but I will put that on the back burner and think about it (of course). I am not sure what you mean about grieving vs. focusing on the negative either. Also I am not sure if you mean to say that you are concerned that I am making a negative choice MY default choice. If you are saying that I do not really know what that means.

                  Accountability partners are always a good thing (of course). That part I understand (well, I don’t understand why you are mentioning it to me right now in this context… but, true is true and I like accountability partners and always have).

                  It must have been awful to preach two funerals of ones you love back to back like that. It is great that you saw how God was able to work through you in those painful situations.

                  Be well.

                    1. My deepest condolences. Sometimes when it rains it pours. It seems to me that suffering is an integral part of the God’s plan for sanctifying us. I know when He allows or causes us to suffer that He does not expect us to pretend everything is OK. I really appreciate that about the portrayals of suffering in scripture.

                  1. ‘Awful?’

                    Again your default ‘choice’ is contradictory to Scripture.

                    Never has what I believed been more clear than when I preached my Uncle’s funeral. Exhausted. Through tears, I could feel, and hear, the sobs of my cousins, and friends.

                    I could feel God leading me to lead them in their grief.

                    That is not, nor was it, awful.

                    That is powerful. When the power of God flows through you, how can that be awful?

                    I knew, beyond any shadow of any doubt, I was in God’s will. I was being used in a powerful manner by the Creator Himself.

                    Well? That is always subjective to God’s healing. Right now? He lets me live with the Beast inside me. And such is life.

                    Ghost.

                    1. TheWordpressGhost,

                      I am glad it wasn’t awful for you. I am sorry to have chosen that word. If you are going to be always contradictory, however, you really need to start citing your sources. And just because God is working does not mean something is not awful. God works through death all the time. Those deaths can still be awful and God can still work through them. And I am not really sure why you think what I said is contradictory to Scripture. This is largely because you did not actually cite any scripture.

                      Now it is a great thing to come to a place in your life where you not only believe intellectually but actually feel the words, “you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.” (Genesis 50:20)– but God never asks us to lie about how we really feel to Him right now. In fact, when you read the psalms one of the reasons they are comforting is because they do not sugar coat their pain or pretend that they are in a place (emotionally) that they are not.

                      “And in your steadfast love you will cut off my enemies, and you will destroy all the adversaries of my soul, for I am your servant.” -Psalm 143:12

                      This is not David asking God to forgive his enemies.

                      “For evils have encompassed me beyond number; my iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me.” -Psalm 40:12

                      He does not omit this thought because he thinks it is unspiritual or ungodly. And he does ask for God’s help– in the very next verse.

                      “Deliver me from all my transgressions. Do not make me the scorn of the fool! I am mute; I do not open my mouth, for it is you who have done it.” -Psalm 39:8,9.

                      This is not some happy line about how he knows it will all work out. He knows he has done wrong and he knows that God has shut him up because of it. And he does go on to ask for help and he does go on to praise God– but he doesn’t pretend it isn’t a terrible painful experience that he is going through in order to do so.

                      Things in life really can be terrible, painful, and awful. This does not mean that God is not working through those things. The two are not mutually exclusive and never have been.

                      -Soul Walker

                    2. Yes, for most people the evil of this world and God’s purpose are exclusive. It is only when we are in God’s purpose that all things work together for His good.

                      “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” NKJV

                      You ‘cherry pick’ the Bible to justify how you FEEL. The Bible as a whole are wonderful books and an overall approach of study will teach you to ‘love your enemies and bless those who curse you.’ Rather than your desire to curse your enemies first, because you have found a passion for the imprecatory nature of the Psalms.

                      Unfortunately, what you are feeling does not seem to fit the overall nature of Biblical revelation. IMHO.

                      Ghost.

  2. It’s a pleasure to meet you, SW. 🙂 I know exactly what you mean about “reflecting poorly on Him”. (I’ve lived that way for years.) No doubt I’m the black sheep- but I like to think of what Paul said about being the “chief of sinners”. I feel that way much of the time. I think you’re right though- you have to speak out- I think you know that. If you don’t, He’ll drag it out of you anyway…heheh..might as well be on your terms. 😉 Thanks for sharing your testimony and your poems. You never know who you’re going to touch by doing so. I know many “marshmallow Christians”- all sunny and rainbows 24/7. Um…that’s not me. Calvary was brutal. Bloody and dark- the earth shook (veil was rent) – it wasn’t a pretty scene, and again, like Paul said, “I die daily”- it’s a perpetual, daily, crucifixion- or should be- (not to be confused with self pity).

    Anyway, I totally getcha.
    Pleasure meeting you.
    xo

  3. WordPress recommended I read your blog. So I did. Self-effacing, honest and beautiful writing. Shall be following, even though I find most Christians irritating haha. I think a rockface is a much better Church. Thankyou.

  4. Hmmm…I’m sorry for you. Some people in this world truly love other people and have a good heart toward them and are pretty genuine… at least, that’s how I am. I must say, I’ve never been repromanded for being kind to someone..and, my kindness wasn’t gamble..it was genuine. I truly felt compassion for you after reading what you had written and thought what a nice style of writing you had as well. So, i guess I’m sorry for being kind. God bless.

    1. I didn’t really think that anything I responded with was going to be taken as a reprimand… but I suppose that just proves my own point (score one for me!… oh wait, I’m not keeping score).

      I am glad to have you “stop by.” I wish you well and thank you for your kind words.

      The kindness and a gamble thing though… yeah, I’m going to have to suggest that you missed the point on that one. I will take it as a failure on my part to effectively communicate to a complete stranger that I do not know and who cannot see my body language or facial expression (is this a recurring theme?).

      Although I do have to say that apologizing for being kind reminds me of “my people.” Bravo on that one.

      Also, in case it wasn’t clear I have no emotional investment in any part of this exchange thus far. This means in no uncertain terms that nothing you have said has offended me or really put me off in any way (in case that was a concern– and if it was not then please disregard my overly-long disclaimer). And as to genuineness, I myself was not lying or being sarcastic when I thanked you for giving me something to think about (which I am still doing, by the way).

      Be well stranger and I pray that you are having a much better day, week, month, and year than I am. If not, then I would feel sorry for you. 😉

  5. I have nothing to prove. Just read what you wrote here, left a kind comment (assuming you wanted comments since you have the comment area here open, and have written something for people to comment on). Was, as I said, just leaving a kind thoughtful comment.

    After reading what you had written, I spoke as I was lead to speak. That is all. God bless you..I just find your replies (no offense meant) somewhat strange and unexpected. There were some other people who also felt the same way I did, as they communicated to me.

    So if you meant nothing negative, maybe you are just coming across wrong. We are all strangers at first, but we find a blog we like, we leave a kind, thoughful comment to the person about their post..and that’s what we do. And then there are those who just come to nit pick or debate..which is silly. So again, I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to take you. You come across (not saying you mean it this way…just saying this is how you come across to me…) as slightly rude to me, and undeservingly at that.

    If someone came to my blog and left me a kind, heartfelt comment, the last thing I would do is act unkindly or rude to them. I would be thrilled they took the time to read what I had written and left me a comment. Like I said, I’ve never had this ‘strange’ experience before.

    I thought you seemed like a cool person, loved what you wrote, love poetry and writing, clicked on follow because I did like your posts that I looked over, and left you a comment that I meant..but it feels as if you have belittled me to a speck of dust, somewhat embarrassed me (whether you meant to or not), and accused my words of being meaningless, which they weren’t. And I am somewhat stunned, to say the least.

    Again, that first comment I left came from my heart because I genuninely love people and am a person of great compassion. Your post touched me for whatever reason I can’t explain. I don’t toss around ‘pretty words’ for the heck of it…I only write what comes to my mind. I’m just being me.

    Anyhow, God bless you and I will pray for your joy, peace, and wisdom this year. Take care. (and I meant that. If I don’t mean something, I don’t say it.)

    No hard feelings, God love you..I will unsubscribe so as not to come and leave you with what you feel is ’empty’ ‘meaningless’ chatter. Take care and be blessed! If I sound negative, don’t mean it that way. Just trying to respect your space here on the web.

    1. I don’t know you and I don’t know why you seem to think that I think so little of you and what you have said just because I criticized something in some of your comments here on my own blog.

      It should be noted that I love debates and debating. I don’t do a lot of that here but I love it none the less. I always have. I love discovery and learning. I love the give and take. I love the back and forth. I love considering other people’s criticisms of my own words and I love taking their words to heart asking myself if they make sense to me… but I rarely get emotionally attached to anything resembling a debate. I never have. This (of course) is helpful for actual debates and sometimes disastrous for other types of conversation (as I am sure most people can imagine).

      I do not know you so I actually assume that you are smarter than me, wiser than me, and generally probably live a better life than me. I want you to know that I don’t take the time to criticize or even really respond to comments that are just “pretty” or “meaningless.” If I don’t respond to a comment you leave it may be because I am in agreement… but that really isn’t the most likely reason I didn’t respond. Conversely, if I respond, it is because I thought your words were worth responding to.

      Now I am not the most warm and generous soul you will ever encounter when all you have is my words. This is (of course), a short-coming on my part (because being right is never enough). Sometimes it is even a sin. I wish no one (yourself included) ill-will or disrespect– not even my enemies (and you are certainly not one of those!).

      I wish you well in your endeavors. And if you tarry here, don’t forget to read the warning. I created this space for a reason. I will continue to use it for what I intended. There is a time and season for everything. And in similar fashion there is a place on the internet for just about everything. You have nothing to prove and I never thought you did (in a general sense). Peace be with you.

  6. Yep. What you are describing is what is wrong with me. It causes me to be allergic to everything…because it causes severe inflammation. I just got a book on my Nook called Mold Warriors, and Surviving Mold. Unfortunately, there are few doctor’s who acknowledge this sort of thing, so there is really no help. And, when you have this, anything that could help you makes you even more sick, which involves my throat swelling…I forget what it’s called right now..having a brain fart…okay..yes..die off. So, I don’t know what to do except pray for the Lord’s healing in faith. He always comes through for me, so I trust He has a reason and a plan. God bless you!

    1. Lyn – don’t know if you’ve come across this before, but there is a guy called Henry Wright who’s had a lot of success with allergies and environmental illness. He’s a pastor who’s also trained as a doctor. Google Be in Health and it should get you to his website! Good luck.

  7. Dear Soul Walker,

    I’ve just found your blog and found it inspiring. I too love Jesus but fear I’m not even a reflection, but rather a distortion of him… and sometimes life is such an uphill struggle that I want to give up. It’s been encouraging for me to find a blog that is very real about life, and is free to admit that being a Christian, wonderful though it is, doesn’t make everything ‘better’. Take care.

  8. I find your thoughts an interesting contrast to mine, dark to light. Humbling, reminding me that my light grew out of the dark. I like the way you put words together.

  9. I only want to reassure you that God doesn’t cause sickness and/or suffering…but He does allow it. He allows it for many reasons: to bring us to repentance, to save us from something worse, to bring souls to Christ, etc. We never understand the mind of God, but we can always trust that our best interests are always at heart.

    I’m sorry, but I had to let you know that.

    If I may say one other thing…when God speaks to us, it’s usually in our thoughts. The closer we are to Him, the more we know when it is Him, and when it’s not.

    Allow me to say that I cried so hard and told God I was mad at Him over the thing that happened at Sandy Hook. He spoke to me in my Spirit and told me this, and makes sense: All flesh, since the fall of man, belongs to the earth (and Satan) until Satan is done once and for all. The soul, however, of a child/baby, and the saved, belongs to God…always. But bad things will happen to the flesh because the world is ruled by Satan and his minions…and that is ONLY because God allows it. Christ defeated death of the spirit, but not of the body…not yet.

    We can see this quite simply. If Satan did not still have the keys to ‘physical death’, then nobody would ever die. It would be like it was before the fall of man. So, for now, Satan can kill our body, but he can’t take our soul..unless we let Him by not obeying God and living in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

    God hates death, and he hates suffering, and he hates sin. However, the eternal man is much more important to God than the physical..because the soul is FOREVER and the physical is but a burning ember that fades quickly compared to eternity. Furthermore, God can’t break His word. And since he gave Satan a certain amount of authority in this world for a time, He has to abide by His own spiritual laws, just as we abide by physical laws.

    Just ponder this for me when you have a chance…research it…pray about it: It all happens in the spiritual places before it happens in the physical. One of the reasons the power of words, prayer, and our thoughts are so vitally important. Remember the verse: Faith is the SUBSTANCE of things HOPED FOR, the EVIDENCE of things NOT SEEN. To really get the full meaning out of my statement, you’re really going to have to ponder it. There’s more to it than meets the eye.

    God bless you!

    1. Hebrews 11:1 has been something I’ve pondered for more than a decade. I have benefited greatly from meditating on it. He says so much with so few words (as always). One of the things that intrigues me is the different ways that people try to define what faith is. In this verse in Hebrews we see one way that people often cite as their definition of faith. Now this verse seems more of a practical explanation than a technical definition… at least on the surface. But there is always more than meets the eye to scripture. God may do a thousand things at one time and we count ourselves blessed if we notice but two of them.

  10. I did forget to add that God will, at times, intervene if Satan’s plan interferes with His plan…because God’s plan ALWAYS comes first, regardless of the flesh. In the long-run, it ALL belongs to God, but He has bestowed a certain amount of ‘fleshly’ authority on Satan because of the fall of man UNTIL IT IS DONE.

    1. Also, I have never felt a need to justify my feelings. Feelings just are. They are not actions. They are not thought patterns. Feelings just are. They do not need to be justified. How you feel about something is always secondary to how you act

  11. I am enjoying your poetry – it has a realness that is refreshing. The first paragraph here – I have the same concerns, how do I reflect on him. I know I am a poor reflection. Reading through the comments I admire your patience and calm.

  12. One day you will stand before Jesus. Jesus said do not be ashamed of Him….that is a warning! Who is more important? God or man? It takes courage to standup to a world of nonbelievers but look at the disciples and how they died because they saw that He was who He said He was. We need not see Him, we believe and proclaim Him because He now lives in us. When you are born again, Jesus lives in you. Blessed are those who have not seen but believed. We are in a blessed age of grace and God lives in our body which is now the temple on earth until we be redeemed when He comes for the Bride and then the tribulation begins. You must be born again before the tribulation begins. There is no second chance. Many think they are going to heaven. If you think you are a pretty good person because you go to meetings and try to treat others nice: The Bible says your righteousness is as filthy rags! If you could be good and not sin then why did Jesus die on the cross? What was God’s plan from Genesis 1 though the end of Revelation? Jesus Praying to those who do not have the peace which comes from truly having a personal relationship with the Savior…His Servant fervently in prayer for souls to be awakened and to go preach the gospel before the tribulation begins!

    1. I am not sure why you took the time to type all that out right here on this particular page in this setting but rest assured that when anyone goes to hell there won’t be a lot of arguing and I will bow the knee just like everyone else no matter where I end up. I hope you have a great day and see God’s hand in your life. Cheers.

  13. Soul Walker, I believe in Jesus too…I am not a mushy religious type–but I think Jesus was a radical person whose presence rattled a lot of people–when I get angry (and I do for what I think are good reasons) I remember Jesus turning over the tables in the Temple and telling the money changers to get out! Other times, I cry over a sunset…and, many times, especially lately, I feel very alone—as in the last two years since I have retired (I hate that word–“retired”!). I was basically forced out…so it has not made my time any more pleasant. Anyway…just wanted to let you know that I do READ you…Do you want to hear something funny? I did NOT know the function of THE READER—I always wondered how so many people had the time to read so many blogs…because I try to comment when I visit someone’s blog…Then last night it dawned on me what people probably do…just click away! I have been on WordPress since October, 2011 and I had NEVER realized that! Now I have a moral dilemma…I have NOT been able to “click away.” I hate it when I have to reason through all these moral dilemmas I have been having of late.
    Getting back to Jesus…I like the way he did not care what other people thought of the fact that he would go and speak to a woman–in his culture that was shocking! In Wisconsin, it is shocking IF you are gay friendly!
    If Jesus was hanging around right now, I would think this Friday we could go for a Fish Fry—like he did with those twelve hopeless fishermen! Have a good Wednesday!

  14. Wow, this is nice–different from my vague memories of 3 years ago. “Sometimes sometimes turn into a long time” really spoke to me. I wonder if you remember that we kind of did a collaboration poem–well more like, I wrote a “response” poem to one of yours (something about “a simple man”). I think I still have my portion somewhere….

  15. To not be true to yourself will create disharmony. not everyone will understand you, not everyone will like what you do and believe in but, those people are not meant for you anyway. Celebrate that you are clear on what is important to and know what you are about. I was at odds with belief and was very self conscious but I have learnt that each and everyone of our paths are different, the people we meet are there to help us similarly, we are there to help other people that we meet. Your work is interesting and thought provoking.

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