On a Monday Night

And while at the bar

A place I do not feel at home

Killing time

My own place occupied

I dream of fitting in.

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And When they Fell

I did not know

The lives cut short

When planes came crashing in.

The years would add

To my dark list

Because events unfolded then.

And as the ripples

Touched the years

My friends began to fall.

They died in places

Without me

I thought I had escaped.

But planes that crashed

Took many years

To take away my friends.

I wish that I

Could trade my life

That you could know them now.

I did not know

That I could hurt

So hard and for so long.

The planes,

They surely killed my friends

Without a single touch.

On Cain

Perhaps Cain was more honest than me

Honest with himself,

Honest with his feelings,

Honest with God.

And perhaps I fear

That if I were likewise honest

I would likewise devolve

And come completely apart.

But what good does it do,

If I am held together

Only by lies and denial?

And where now do I turn?

I would speak to you,

But do I have ears to listen?

I would turn to you,

But you are unseen.

Lord have mercy.

Christ have mercy.

God have mercy.

I believe; help me with my unbelief.