Under Broken Lamp

It hurts in the morning
It hurts in the night
It hurts when it’s dark
It hurts when it’s light.

I breathe in their death
I imbibe a lie
I am lost in crowded street
And still I want to die.

Life eludes my burdened heart
And still I feel the heat
Light of lights come down to me
I’m waiting in the street.

On Christ

Trapped and powerless let us pray
Listing far we touch a rock
Deep below the monsters wait
Swimming, waiting, in the dark.

Put a hand upon the stone
Touch the thing that does not move
Feel the chill down to the bone
Stand and wait your soul to prove.

A heart is lost upon the sea
And cannot make it far alone
Let your heart seek now its lee
And find its shelter with the stone.

Anguish of Grace

I am the broken one,
The shattered one,
The villain,
The bastard.

I am the guilty one,
The weak one,
The small one,
The failure.

I am in pieces
I am in pain
Confusion is my morning
Despair is my night.

It makes sense to call you Lord
My fractured and poisoned view of reality
Does not struggle with this,
But to call you father…

“…lest anyone should boast.”

To Call You Father

My head aches and splits
The heart would fin’lly speak
But how do I pray, “Father”…?

To see as Lord in guts and grime
And like some stoic yield my fate
This my head can claim in tears.

But heart cries deep a simple truth
And wars with head who cannot see
And blinding fear thrusts daggers both.

You made the world and that takes might
You came down low and that takes heart
To see these both takes quite a faith.

My heart in pain and with much fear
Speaks a language far from me
Unreconciled I stagger, fall.

I do not know the words to loose
Whispered from the splintered earth
Yet you would teach me, ” Father.”