In Time of Need

I am under siege.

The grip around my neck is tight and growing tighter
The lessons learned and forgotten and learned again
Have left me exhausted in my bones.

I am afraid.

The cold is fast upon my heart
And lonely I am stuck in fear
I hear raging all around and the center is not calm.

I am failing.

The light is weak the candle dies
It flickers as I reach for death
And in the morning I might, wake or I may be gone.

Hear my prayer.

The death I seek is not with bodies
Not revenge and not my own
Let my heart be rescued now as the old man dies.

Help

But the morning after I fell so far
And landed on earth with all these scars
And could not believe how I had marred
And could not mistake the feathers and tar.

And burning with shame I woke from a dream
But I was afraid of the shimmer and gleam
And would not hold on to that which seemed
To good to be true (or so I had deemed).

So this is my prayer in the morning I rise
I sing it to you as I look to the skies
It loses its words as it sheds its disguise
And I see for the first time through your eyes.

Here in This Place

I hate this place
There is no wind
Unless it’s blasting you with sand
There is no heat
Unless it is burning your skin
There is no peace
Unless you came with it
And I did not
And I am so exhausted
By my own sins
And those done to me
That I feel comatose.

I cannot cry out to you in this state
It feels like I will die here
Quietly
Alone.

I remember the day she kissed me
But I threw that away
And my hope went with it.

Thank you for the food in my belly
I know that it might not always come
Thank you for the shade from the sun
I know that I may yet be cast out further still
Thank you for the work
Forgive my complaints
I have forgotten how to pray
Christ have mercy.

In The Valley

Say a prayer for me
That I might conquer.

Say a prayer for me
That I might submit.

Say a prayer for me
That I might turn.

Say a prayer for me
That I might stand.

Say a prayer for me
That I might listen.

Say a prayer for me
That I might speak.

Say a prayer for me
That I might stop.

Say a prayer for me
That I may begin.

Say a prayer for me
For I am not enough.

Say a prayer for me
For the answers are not within.

Say a prayer for me
For I am weak.

Say a prayer for me
That I may forgive.

Say a prayer for me
That I might tell the truth

Say a prayer for me
That I might love,

even myself.

Stand and Wait

If you have spoken
You will come through
And you will continue to lead
In various ways
You will always get my attention
And so you have it
Please do not stop teaching me
Please do not stop loving me
I know that you have already said you would never leave nor forsake
And I know your word stands true
But I did not know how hard it would be
To wrestle my own heart
I am afraid
Please do not leave me
Please…