The Rising of Emotion

I woke up with anger

Just ready to go

Like a fire searching for fuel

And like a fire,

It was hard to find

Just where it had started.

They Say I am Angry

I have heard

That people like me

Are,

In large part,

Tired because of

A great simmering undealt with anger.

I do know this:

I am bone-weary tired

And I often feel,

That my feelings,

Are just out of reach…

As I drink my whiskey

And remember their names

I long for their voices

And what that meant to me.

But I cannot live

Forever in the past

Annihilating my self

To merge with the dead

As if I could live their dreams.

Their memory is safe with me

Burned in my bones

Like the first time I saw a topless woman in Africa

It is not a question of holding on

It will always be there

Until my body turns to dust.

So I will drink my whiskey

And remember their names

And their voices

And what that means to me

Knowing that their memory

Is not a weight to carry,

But rather a foundation on which to build…

And I know they would like this whiskey.

Winter Sun

The sun has risen in this winter

Bringing light with little heat

The daybreak wills the night to splinter

And this, the aching starting feat.

The light reveals such devastation

And still it is so bitter cold

I bend my knees to God’s salvation

And listen as the tale unfolds.

Feels so big to change.

And so hard just to begin

Let us now begin.

Tanks

If I imagine

Myself

As having different tanks

Like a car

That requires multiple different fuels

I have this tank

Of love

And another

Of acceptance

And another

Of purpose

And another of hope

I find that all the possible tanks

Are never all filled

And I might have to drain one

To fill another.

Do I ever get to feel

A day or night in that high dream

What it’s like to be

With all the tanks all full?

Follow

When I sing,

“I need you more,”

And my bones rejoice that truth

My mind can sense my heart is tense

Though longing after you.

Becoming Whole

To feel and think as if the same

And not to keep them far apart

To trust your gut, your mind, your heart

This is an essential art.

The Unexpected

There is a light in the dark desert night

I can hear the wind in the brush

I can feel the cold left by the fleeing sun

But there is a light in the dark desert night

And I will look its way..

By the lake

The lapping gentle waves ashore

Invite my heart to less not more

And as my heart accepts the calm

The peace seeps in a healing balm.

In this calmer state I find

The voice of heaven bleeding kind

The tears and panic fade away

And in this space the quiet lay

I do not have the answers here

But I have felt the grip of fear

And knowing just how cruel a foe

I will rejoice to see fear go.