Visions

She burns into my vision
Thrust into my consciousness in every kind of moment
She is there before me when I dream
She is there before me when I sin
She is there before me when I do right
She, a haunting beauty that never fades
Like some apparition that tortures a soul with dreams of ecstasy
I cannot keep her out
And perhaps I do not want to
But there is a fire in my veins at the thought of the sound
of her voice.

She is far beyond me
“Of course she is,” you say.

I do not think that I can reach her
“You are afraid.”

The way is hard and I must rend my own flesh to get there
“But God will rend it for you.”

But surely there is nothing so beautiful for me in my future
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.”

I cannot believe the good; everything hurts too bad
“God is not a liar.”

They locked up better men
“And he throws down kings in a day.”

I cannot even say the words
To tell of that which I would dream
Of such a one as has found me
Bloody on the earth.

I cannot reach to touch her face
And if she were to reach for mine
I think that I would fall apart
In pieces on the earth.

Hear me God
I would kneel
Break me till
I love you full.

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