You know they say there will be a judgement
And no sin goes unpunished
I suppose when you’ve been hurt
This should be comforting
But when you’ve been hurt
And then hurt others yourself
(and I realize this is most everyone)
It is a bit…
well, confusing is not the word
I suppose it is just

Part of me just wants to drink my coffee
In a world where I don’t feel anger
And my heart is free from pain
And my belly full of coffee and muffins.

Part of me wants revenge
Blood in the streets
Heads on pikes
Houses burned to the ground
The rubble collected and thrown into the sea
And salt plowed into the earth.

Often, however,
I just want to die.

I mean I can’t keep track of punishing people that hurt me
When I need to be punished
And the people that hurt them need to be punished
And everyone has hurt someone
And no one is just good.
And well,
if I think about it too long
the flood seems a no brainer
and the rainbow…
some unmeasurable mercy.

But maybe that’s not too long
Maybe that’s only the start
Of the thinking that is.

Some day the judgment will come
I suppose just knowing we won’t be allowed to run like this
run like this forever–
And I mean we,
not people,
or the world,
I mean us.
I suppose knowing that is a comfort.
Trusting it,
that is another matter.


3 thoughts on “Trust

  1. My heart goes out to you because I once walked this path. I have been hurt way too many ways and times. Yet, I have peace now. I no longer think about judgement – it’s not mine to hand out, not mine to pursue. I have learned to forgive and to move past hurts, because to hold onto them means feeling depressed, not wanting to live, and allowing the hurt to control me. Life is a gift – it took a long time for that meaning to sink in, but once it does then you realize that no one, and nothing should be allowed to interfere with that gift. I learned to refuse to dwell on hurts – to focus on what’s in front of me. Live in the moment. You are so talented! Great post!

  2. This poem very correctly separates knowing about the judgment day and trusting in it. “Now we see through a glass darkly; but then, face to face.” This is what I hold fast to.

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