I’m Sorry You Had to Go My Friend

Three days ago
you killed yourself
and now as I sit here
It occurs to me,
it occurs to me that Jesus sweated blood.
It occurs to me that He asked if there was another way.
There wasn’t.

So if I try and drown my agony out
with some sort of sin or foolishness
it just won’t work.

I cannot escape the agony.

No one escapes the agaony.

Jesus did not escape the agony.

So as I sit here not sleeping
Feeling my pain
I guess it just has to hurt right now
and maybe it has to hurt often
but I guess right now anyways
I just have to feel
and that feeling is pain.

It goes beyond my understanding
and I have tried to run from it
but that (so it would seem)
is just not the way.

There is peace
and even joy
but so this life brings other things
and suffering was promised to
every son of man.

And to the children
so elect
by the wisdom of our God
was also promised suffering.

And so in agony I sit
And pray you found your way back home
the days just got a little longer
now that you are gone.


27 thoughts on “I’m Sorry You Had to Go My Friend

  1. i struggled with this one – ‘liking’ it doesn’t seem appropriate.
    i experienced the same thing once – it is plain shitty. period.
    hold on… pain will fade eventually… but sweet memories remain.
    you are a brave soul to write about it this soon. hats off to you.
    (loved the last stanza)

  2. Soul Walker, made me cry. I felt your pain in your words. I’m so sorry your friend chose to leave. I don’t know what else to say…..except Much love, Jen xxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooo

  3. Echoing your other reader’s comments that “like” is based on acknowledging and respecting the words you have written and the agony that has prompted them…in a way you have taken the much harder road and yet i hope you see how worthwhile and redemptive it is.

  4. Oh wow, I’m overwhelmed. So sorry for your loss–sending balm of prayers and love, and extra hope and peace to come. God bless you abundantly.

  5. This is absolutely beautiful… and so true. The like is for the expression, not the pain. The pain and agony are palpable. Sending you prayers as you go through this journey…. May God bless you!

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